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Issue Five is Now Available

Just a few of the contributors to this one include David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Sarah Silverman, Johnny Ryan, Bob Fingerman, and so many more. Get yours today!





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Read the conclusion to Monkeybicycle1

© 2003-2008 Monkeybicycle.

Monkeybicycle is proud to be an imprint of Dzanc Books






MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH A LIBRARIAN, FROM START TO FINISH, AS TOLD THROUGH THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM

By

Nick Confalone

 

395.0 Etiquette
302.3 Social interaction within groups
782.6 Women's voices
799.2 Hunting
793.5 Games: trickery and deceit
611.0 Human anatomy
618.0 Gynecology & other medical specialties
613.9 Birth control and sex hygiene
793.9 Other indoor diversions

021.0 Library relationships
793.2 Parties and entertainment
635.9 Flowers and ornamental plants
641.8 Cooking specific kinds of composite dishes
791.4 Recreational & performing arts: movies
541.0 Physical chemistry
612.6 Human physiology: Reproductive physiology
392.0 Customs of domestic life
553.8 Gemstones

116.0 Change
145.0 Sensationalism
251.0 Preaching
168.0 Argument
176.0 Ethics of sex & reproduction
216.0 Good & evil
796.8 Combat sports
007.0 ...Not assigned or no longer needed
362.7 Abandonment

154.3 Daydreams, fantasies, reveries

617.1 Wounds
152.4 Emotions and feelings
597.0 Cold-blooded vertebrates
792.1 Tragedy and serious drama

617.2 Results of injuries
383.0 Postal communication
522.0 Telescope calibration
778.9 Stalking wildlife; photography with color film
347.0 Law: civil procedure
364.4 Prevention of crime and delinquency
157.0 Abnormal psychology
362.8 Wife/spousal endangerment
364.1 Law: Criminal offenses

365.0 Penal & related institutions
782.8 Men's voices
938.0 History of ancient world: Greece
616.6 Diseases of the urogenital system

 





Nick Confalone lives in Los Angeles, but he grew up in Delaware, where there's no sales tax on anything, not even cars. His work can be found in the LA Times and on McSweeneys.net.





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