13 TIMES I'D RATHER NOT REMEMBER

By

Brandi Wells

1. I had worms, those wriggling white things that squirm around inside you. I noticed it while I was scratching my ass, digging my finger in a little too deep perhaps.

2. I fell off the jungle gym, fell flat on my back and all the other kids were mad because after that no one was allowed to play on the jungle gym anymore.

3. I pulled my hair out, one strand at a time, until there was a huge bald spot running down the center of my part and my hairdresser wouldn’t cut my bangs until all the hair started to grow back in.

4. My mother bought me a gray and purple fur coat and I was so embarrassed of it that I threw it in the dumpster behind the lunchroom. One of the custodians brought it to me during spelling class and I had to wear it home, with ketchup stains and chocolate milk all across it.

5. I read my mother’s romance novels, things by Danielle Steele and V.C. Andrews, rubbing one off whenever I got to the part where Beau took Ruby’s virginity.

6. I played doctor with B.J. from down the street. She straddled me, making sure I was all right in all the right places.

7. I bought my own V.C. Andrew’s Book and hid it between my mattress and box spring.

8. I got worms again and my mother told me it was from biting my nails after I petted the cats.

9. A boy saw me picking my nose during class, even though I was bent under my desk, pretending to look for my science notebook.

10. I saw my brother’s penis and didn’t understand why it looked bunched up into three little pieces, instead of one long one, like I imagined it would be.

11. A boy held me down and spanked me during recess, telling me I was a bad girl.

12. I found my mother’s birth control sponges in the bottom drawer, underneath her bathroom sink.

13. I masturbated with my favorite stuffed animal, grinding against its pointy nose.