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2007 and Beyond

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The Monkeybicycle Archives

2007 and Beyond

 

 

A Short History of Happy New Years (and Not So Happy Endings) - Ben Tanzer


Dog Penis Hairspray or the Spirit of the White Elephant - Dawn Corrigan


Home is Where I Pass Out Alone for the Holidays - Grievous Jones


Three Stories that are Almost Entirely Unrelated Except They're All About Christmas - Richard Rippon


Dangling Modifiers in Honor of Christmas - Matt Salesses


The Kids Next Door - Mary Phillips-Sandy


Famous Christmas Figures' Psychological Disorders, Diagnosed - Wendy Molyneux


Two Nights Before Christmas - Brian Beatty


A Holiday Greeting From the Bukowskis - Tyler Stoddard Smith


A Christmas Story with Puzzler - Elizabeth Ellen


Pagan Scandinavia vs. Christmas at My Aunt and Uncle's House in Minnetonka - Kathryn Holmquist


You Forgot the Gravy, Didn't You? - Zach Wolff


Cookie Time - Abby Denson


Christmas Would Be In December - Aaron Burch


Ideas for the Holidays
or
Inside the Mind of a Small Indian
or
Welcome to the Jungle
- Millie Munshi


The Last Noël - Josh Fischel


Feet in Socks - Amy Guth


Christmas Eve with My Father (or, "Just Fucking Run") - Patrick Dean


Laryy Sm1Th, Email Spammer, Writes a Christmas Card to His Parents - Greg Boose


I am Holding Your Hand - Myfanwy Collins


This Quiet Complex - Amelia Gray


Almost, But Not Quite, a Christmas Miracle - Ralph Gamelli


How They Fit - J.A. Tyler


Donny - Ben Segal


Fact File - Mike Topp


So Lucky - Beth Thomas


Refresher - Joshua Ben-Noah Carlson


A Letter to my Future Self - Nathan Thornton


The Beatles - CL Bledsoe


Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Wedding - Clifford Garstang


Why Barbara Lost Her Job as Copywriter for the Community Education Course Catalog - Shellie Zacharia


Hoping for a Big Bang - Paul Kavanagh


Your Home Pregnancy Test Results - Nathaniel Missildine


Adherence - John Roberts



A Scale of Combat - Kyle Sundby


Seven Items Concerning My Recent Family Road Trip to Canada: - Millie Munshi


Light Boxes - Shane Jones


Coco - Valerie Vogrin


Unedited Idioms - Justin Droms


The Death of Stalin - Christopher Higgs


Questions I Regret Not Asking - Thomas Hopkins


Excerpts from "The Road," by Woody Allen - Ralph Gamelli


Three Small Stories II - Darby Larson


Stan Lee's Rabbit, Run! Charlie Anders


The Man Who Retired to the Moon - Dave De Fina


There Are Unconscious Mental States And Processes, For Example, How This Very Second You Are Semantically And Syntactically Processing This Title - Patrick Vittek


Harpoons of Love - David Manuel Valin


Punctuation in Three Acts - Jessica Handler


Charles - Steve Himmer


Jokes Without Punchlines - Tom McCormack


Orbit - Claudia Smith


Highlights From the Portfolio of Robert Mapplethorpe, Wedding Photographer - David Hart


My Organ Donor Card: Annotated - Jay Dyckman


The Music Man - Jen Michalski


Random Excerpts From My New Line of Travel Guides to Cities That I Have Never Been To - Mike Jones


Jose Canseco Knows which Superheroes are on Steroids - Ralph Gamelli


The Hog - Dawn Corrigan


A Parable About the Superiority and Pleasures of Realistic Fiction - Justin Kahn


It's Only Rock and Roll, But We Like It - Ben Tanzer


Speaking in Tongues - Scott Brothers


The Daughters - Myfanwy Collins


Opposing Perceptions of the Same Argument...with Both Arriving at the Same Conclusion - Ric Reichert


Some Brief Remarks About Mud - Bill Winter


Current Living Nobel Prize Winners in Literature Make Headlines for Short-lived Intellectual Gossip Rag - Tyler Stoddard Smith


A Parable About the Superiority and Pleasures of Realistic Fiction - Justin Kahn


West Creek Herald Newspaper Corrections/Clarifications - Mark Garrison


Page 194 of the 276-Page Memoir of a Golden Retriever Named Chewy - Eric Feezell


Can I Just Point Out How Racist I'm Not Being Right Now? - Charlie Anders


A Zagat Writer Reviews Everyday Life - Rob Bloom


Recent Rejections: The Collected Turndowns (Literary Included) - Kevin O'Cuinn


Cats Witness History - Alex MacInnis


Albert Belle is Coming to Dinner - Brendan Proce


Three Small Stories - Darby Larson


Probably the Only Chronology Ever Written About Bob Dylan - Nathaniel Missildine


Sex Dungeon For Sale - Patrick Wensink


The Dog of the World - Sam Bennett


Heat Miser and Snow Miser: The Correspondence - Ralph Gamelli


Elizabeth Ellen, 1972 - Elizabeth Ellen


Crash & an Interpretive Dance - D. Harland Wilson


Text From Museum Wall Labels Altered to Describe My First New York Apartment - David Hart


I Try to Make Scents of It All - Tyler Stoddard Smith


Pies - Mary Phillips-Sandy


Outlines - Michael de los Reyes


More Reasons Not to Supply Dogs with Kielbasa Sausage - Charlie Nadler


Our Happiness - Dawn Corrigan


My Hypoglycemia - Andy Cobb


Mad Libs for Difficult Situations - Rob Bloom


In Loving Memory - Jon Allan Carroll


The Day California Fell Into the Sea - Amelia Gray


A Dam for a Flood - Jimmy Chen


My Quasi-Paranormal House - Ralph Gamelli


Leave Playboy Magazines in the Woods - Patton Oswalt


How to Hide a Dying Dictator in the Eating Disorder Ward of the State Hospital - Amelia Shackelford


Self-Help for Superheroes - Rafael Galan


Her New Dolls - Andrew Dicus


Having Semi-Regular Sex on a Pontoon Boat in La Jolia - Justin Varana


Stages of Foreign Language Learning - Nathaniel Missildine


The Beginnings of Ten Stories About Ponies - Wendy Molyneux


Palm Beach is a Warm, Warm Soft Angel Made of Sand - Dan Kennedy and Sean Carman


In Which I Date Someone for a While and then Pause to Reflect - Josh Fischel


Real Reviews of Fake Restaurants - Jon Allan Carroll


Amber at the Window in Hurricane Season - Justin Taylor


Adam in the Garden of Eden - Rick Stoeckel


Stories by Edgar Omar Aviles - Translated by Toshiya Kamei


Wedding Bells - Paddy Jones


Reconstruction (A novel excerpt) - David Ohle


Assorted Rays: Ranked According to Coolness - David Ng


Loser - Shya Scanlon


!%Viva la Revolution - Magdalen Powers


A Medieval Bestiary of Vegetables - James Warner


That Bitch - Caroline Kepnes


SUBURB OF THE PARANOIAC-CRITICAL WRITER; AFTERNOON ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE ORION ARM (2005) - Dan McNeil


The Truth About Noses (Beauty Talk & Monsters Series) - Masha Tupitsyn


The Bottle Collector - J. Sallini-Genovese


Warning - Angela Jane Fountas


My Name is Martin, Too - Justin Kahn


Three Screams - Jay Wexler


Love in Miniature - Martha Clarkson


Sudie Shea - EB Arnold


Two Stories - Leland Pitts-Gonzalez


How To Get Over Your Second Wife Jan WIth Class - Dan Kennedy and Sean Carman


i went fishing with my family when i was five - Tao Lin


Superpowers - Ray Vukcevich


Oswald in Love - Richard Hulse


Beautiful Nature: A Story Pieced Together from Things my ESL-Teaching Friends Have Sent me from Japan - Pasha Malla


A Story Named After the Ocean - B. Laviolette


Point Five - Juliet Latham


we broke beds - David C. LaTerre


Milk - Jennifer Dziura


The Very Last Story - Josh Kron


Mysteries of American History - Kurt Luchs


Christmas - Tao Lin


Best Man's Speech (Draft) - Andrew Day



One-sentence Stories


The Continental Bedsit - Emmett Cole


From the Dispatches of Budd McAllen, Ethnomusicologist - Brendan Kiley


Four Stories - Brian Beatty


Three Short Ventriloquists' Routines for Today's Ventriloquist - Mike Fowler


There It Is--A Short-Short - Randall Brown


Funk Poem About A Gal Named Carol - Dan Kennedy and Sean Carman


Eloise - Hilarie Shanley


Optimal Handling of the C-NU(TM) - K.O. Cuinn


The Tylenol Cheerleader: A Tragedy in Three Parts - Sharma Shields


Tentacles - Andy Henion


One-sentence Stories, Batch Five


Domestication - Martha Clarkson


Friend is a Ship and Dumpster Manifesto - Willie Smith


Mix Tape - Gavin J. Grant


Xunantunich - Danielle Canti


Joseph's Dilemma - Matt Bell


Before You She Was A Pitbull - Elizabeth Ellen


The Sheriff and the Stranger - Scott Brothers


I am Finally Letting Folks Get Into Some of My Poetry and Cast Aside Sweet Sorrow for Tonight We Rock: Dan Kennedy's Sharing of His Love Poetry - Dan Kennedy and Sean Carman


Stories, Only the Beginnings - David Drury


Shine - Darien Cavanaugh


One-Sentence Stories, Batch Four


One-Sentence Stories, Batch Three


How Other Countries Celebrate American Thanksgiving - Christopher Monks, Aaron Burch, Steven Seighman, Matthew Simmons, Pasha Malla, and Melissa Bell


One-Sentence Stories, Batch Two


An Uncontrolled Swelling - Matt Briggs


One-Sentence Stories


Inverse After - Shauna McKenna


My Elephant Boy - Christopher Monks


Novel Double/ Double Novel - Doug Nufer


Sauce - Miriam Kotzin and Bill Turner


The Enemy of the Bee - Darren Chase


Inn - Davy Rothbart


My Life At The New York Post - Richard Grayson


Indian In The Cupboard - Mike Topp


Appendix To The Prufrock Second Manual Of Etiquettes For Surviving The Modern World Politely: More Hints And Useful Tips For Situations In Or Arising From The Workplace - James Hogwood


Social Contract - Stephen Elliott


Turning Thirteen - Wells Oliver


On the Phone With Haley - Julia Glassman


Zane: Bildungsroman - Brendan Kiley


Eyes Like Kumquats, Lips Like A Cocked Gun - Jay Wexler


The Man In The Shed - Jeff Reichman


NOLA Chronicles Part 1
Part 2 - Chjad McEvoy


Englishman v. Irishman - Mike McGowan


Katie Couric Interviews Soren Kierkegaard on the Occasion of the Paperback Publication of The Concept of Dread - Ken Krimstein


America Fell in Love With the Explosions Technician - Henry Mansfield


Bring Me the Head of the Cross-eyed Jesus - Clay Matthews


Doc Nostrum's Miracle Confection - Tobiaas Seamon


Coffee Stains - Lawrence Krauser


Toxic Beauty - Lauran Strait


I Burst Into Flames - Ronnie Cordova


Velvet Fog - Gary Glauber


Four Eyed Chick - Tom H. Macker


The Rules of Embalming - Kelly Spitzer


The First and Last God-Damned Stupid Birthday Present
An excerpt from The Pupils of an Inflated Giraffe
- Blake Butler


Carpentry - Diane Payne


JuJu Jetski - Lisa McMann


Santa Claus is Coming...A Sex and the Christmas Special - Eric Spitznagel


Some Vegetarians - J. Robert Lennon


Livewire - David Gianatasio


Hand - Ryan Boudinot


My Big Fat Greek Neighbor - Wells Oliver


Stupid's Rising Up - Dave Clapper


The Time Between Ordering and Eating - Kevin Fanning


Guess What I Got On Ebay - Calvin Liu


Don't Fuck With the Dungeonmaster - Matthew Simmons


Subway Kings - Paul Toth


The Night Before My Beige Tercel Went Off The Cedar Creek Bridge With All Of Us Inside - Brian Graham


Shuckers - Steve Gullion


Elephants Make Poor Salads - Benjamin Cohen


Haibun: Divorcing the Brothers - Pat Pedersen


The Next Stanley Kubrick - Kathy Fish


The Devil and the Potato Picker - Troy Morash


The Cat Had Her Tongue - Ed Page


Future Plans - Jamey Gallagher


Author's Bio - Eric Spitznagel


What to Wear - Susan Henderson


Paid Advertisment - Vic Perry


The Translation - Kevin Sampsell


The Raining Men - Pasha Malla


Neurotica - Frayn Masters


Taqueria la Cumbre - Joseph Young


Monkey Blood - Bill Spratch


Empty Houses - Lydia Copeland


Doll Man - Wayne Wolfson


The State Quarters' Stare - Francis Raven


How Sweet the Sight - Megan Bott


Spinning Blades - Rose Gowen


The Day the Aliens Brought Pancakes - Eric Spitznagel


Two Stories: Reworking Jimmy and Reworking Dannielle - Mike McGowan


Moby Dick FEED - David C. LaTerre


Sleeping Pills - Kevin Sampsell


Fruit Snacks - Christopher Paul


Some Lives Consist of Missing - Elizabeth Ellen


Two Stories - Paul Toth


Juju - Wayne Wolfson


Two Stories - Chjad McEvoy


Dangerous Christmas Toys (specifically Victorian Era Anti-Masturbation Devices) - Eric Spitznagel


when are you not going anywhere? - Kathleen Nering


Tiny and Perfect - Whitney Pastorek


Academia - Mike McGowan


Behavioral Science - Jill Alphonso