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My Name is Martin, Too

JUSTIN KAHN

What did I do yesterday? Up. Down. Up. Down. Same as yesteryear. Repetitions for calves. Up. Down. Lots of reps, little weight. Up. Down. Confidence down, down, down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Dr. Phil’s advice? BEYOND THIS, WHAT? ATROPHY? FLAB? RISE AND A FINAL FALL? No job is a dead end job, unless you turn it into a dead end. This is the adult mindset. As a kid, the story of Luther saying Here I Stand was like comic book status. Don’t know why. I am Jewish. I didn’t yet understand that events of old could have been otherwise. At the time I believed that Luther Had to Be in a way that I did not. I believed that Luther had to be born, but it was just a coincidence I was born. Proof? Proof Number Three: The non-reciprocal nature of our names, which can be stated as, “I might be named after him (though I am not), but he could not be named after me.” The Judge was shocked when Luther was like, Here I Stand. The People were shocked when Luther was like, Here I Stand. To tradition he was like, Here I stand. Here, Here, Here! I stand! Here I stand to all of history. Only today—within the last half-hour—did I realize that I must say, Here I Stand to the Women at the DMV. Here I Stand to the man with not one but three Master of Divinity degrees. Here I Stand to you; Here I Stand to me. Up, Up, Up, I go. Naturally, Down, Down, Down, too.



Justin Kahn is bigger than the Beatles. Or at least a beetle.