The Only Age-Defying Miracle is Death
Daniel Riddle Rodriguez
Anything else is product branding.
I know it’s for the best.
Keep It In Your Pants
My girlfriend wistfully tells me that, when she was fifteen, she blew a guy named Rick because he beat her at a game of rock, paper, scissors: “Don’t worry,” she says, off of my look, “I didn’t care about him or anything, he was just some guy I met one night and never saw again,” as if this is supposed to make me feel any better.
Yes, They Do
The last time we met, you left me with a sable painter’s brush, a thesaurus and morning-after grapes and a note that said; semicolons don’t work that way.
As If I Were Prank-Calling Her
“This is really a matter for the Coroner’s Office now,” the Sheriff said brusquely, then hung up.