The Only Age-Defying Miracle is Death
Daniel Riddle Rodriguez

Anything else is product branding.

 

Acceptance Letter
Mary Jones

I know it’s for the best.

 

Keep It In Your Pants
Ted McLoof

My girlfriend wistfully tells me that, when she was fifteen, she blew a guy named Rick because he beat her at a game of rock, paper, scissors: “Don’t worry,” she says, off of my look, “I didn’t care about him or anything, he was just some guy I met one night and never saw again,” as if this is supposed to make me feel any better.

 

Yes, They Do
Nikita Gill

The last time we met, you left me with a sable painter’s brush, a thesaurus and morning-after grapes and a note that said; semicolons don’t work that way.

 

As If I Were Prank-Calling Her
Litsa Dremousis

“This is really a matter for the Coroner’s Office now,” the Sheriff said brusquely, then hung up.