Can I get an amen?!
As luck would have it, Jesus is at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on Sunset, across the street from the DGA in West Hollywood. Fortunately, he isn’t incognito—we are so blessed!
Name: Mary Beth Wilkinson
o Age: 78
o DOD: 6/1/14
o Obituary: Mary Beth loved shopping at J.C. Penney. With unbridled enthusiasm, she used to say, “I can get a matching set of washer/dryers and stretchy pants with a print boatneck tee, and gifts for everyone in my family!”
Obituary: After an acutely depressing and unfulfilling life, Clementine Baxter overdosed on diet pills before slitting her wrists and leaping off the Golden Gate Bridge to her demise. Clementine was a receptionist for 20 years at Butters, Bean & Tapioca law firm in West Covina, California.
Name: Declan Shufflebottom III
o Age: 27
o DOD: 4/6/14
o Obituary: Declan Shufflebottom III died painfully and abruptly when he drove his vintage Huffy ten-speed bicycle head first into the driver of a parked Hummer for swiping the last bag of gummy worms at Baxter, Minnesota’s Walgreens.
“Owen” was a dear friend from college. After graduation he moved back to New York and we stayed in touch for a while. He was the best pal a dame could have, massaging my lower back when I had cramps. I responded in kind by massaging his hands when he jerked off too much. We were each other’s wing person and study buddies. He was charismatic, kindhearted and funny.