An Overseas Getaway
As the plane crashed down, Eliot gripped his bag of souvenirs and said, “At least it’s the return flight.”
My wife and I disliked our neighbors long before they put out the flamingoes.
One day she opened the dishwasher while the dishes were still hot and realized she was no longer happy living with Mark. .
Greg Van Deusen
I never replace my light bulbs, so as I get older it keeps getting darker and darker, and that way death won’t be such a complete shock to my system.
Hoping they both believe it, he consoles his son: “There are other games after this one, kiddo.”
Man on the bus
He sits while nothing happens in that cold amber roll of film ticking from one trivial scene to the next listening to the driver go on about this town’s budget and streetlights and who will have to die to make it all go on.
Dating a musician is like Communism: it’s good on paper but a fucking disaster when put to trial.
“A tooth fairy so much as touches my kid, and I’ll blow his head off.”