Welcome to another edition of If My Book, the Monkeybicycle feature where authors compare their newly released books to weird things. This week Janelle Bassett writes about Thanks for This Riot, her debut story collection out from University of Nebraska Press.
If Thanks for This Riot wore pants, it’s sweet little tummy would pop out over the top.
If Thanks for This Riot were a senior in high school it would be voted most unlikely.
If Thanks for This Riot were forced to take part in field day, you’d never hear the end of it.
If Thanks for This Riot could dance, it would shimmy imperceptibly.
If Thanks for This Riot wrote a resume, it would exaggerate it’s interpersonal skills.
If Thanks for This Riot were a piece of playground equipment it would be the jungle gym where the misunderstood girls hang upside down.
If Thanks for This Riot were on a reality TV show it would, rather pathetically, be there to make friends.
If Thanks for This Riot were playing hide and seek, it would hide behind the curtain and pee its pants.
If Thanks for This Riot were a grocery list item, it would be store brand aluminum foil.
If Thanks for This Riot fell down the stairs it would stick the landing.
If Thanks for This Riot were an astronaut it actually would need 100 tampons.
If Thanks for This Riot were at a diner it would develop an inappropriate crush on the laminated menu.
If Thanks for This Riot were making lasagna there would be sauce on the ceiling.
If Thanks for This Riot could cry it would be about missed connections.
If Thanks for This Riot were hitchhiking it would be heading to a small-time miniatures museum.
If Thanks for This Riot could spin straw into gold it would give the profits to the ugly and the meek.
If Thanks for This Riot is such a hotshot, why can’t it speak for itself?
Janelle Bassett’s story collection Thanks for This Riot won the Prairie Schooner Raz-Shumaker Book Prize in Fiction and is out now from University of Nebraska Press. She lives in St. Louis and is a fiction editor at Split Lip Magazine. Follow her on X at @hazmatcat.
