Report 67-B: Love on Planet Earth [Excerpt Translated from the original Urewkquep] Collin Peck-Gray On the fifth day, in a ceremonious display before insemination, the male children ingest neurotoxins that act on cell membranes to produce visibly altered gait, incontinence and loud, primitive speech that alerts its females of…
Inside a Restaurant Aquarium Kenton Yee Watching children eat, the aging turtle dreamt of his woodland far across Pacific winds, of his youthful shell, from which he’d poke his head to eat his mother’s foods, to discuss future plans that would not manifest. The Meaning Steve Russomano He…
You Have The Aspect Of A Robot With Cream Skin Donora Hillard And I will beat you with all the money if you don’t love me fast. Surviving January in Minnesota Peter Joseph Gloviczki Press your hands flush to the earth: every impression proves transience as what…
Well, Certainly Brad Watson I would like to go at least one entire day without some kind of head injury.”. She Likes to Watch Them Die Daan Kogelmans Being laughed at by the beautiful girls all her life, none of the villagers ever suspected why ugly Johanna…
One Sentence to Sleep Murray Dunlap Oh to be injured in an accident and have no dreams or even good sleep anymore, I try my damnedest to write just one sentence that will let me sleep. The Robot Ryan Ridge We found an old robot behind the YMCA…
An Overseas Getaway Dan Piorkowski As the plane crashed down, Eliot gripped his bag of souvenirs and said, “At least it’s the return flight.” Untitled David Fleming My wife and I disliked our neighbors long before they put out the flamingoes. Dishwasher Cameron Price One day she…
Food Fact Mike Topp Two glasses of orange juice contain more Vitamin C than one glass of orange juice. When Margo Was At Peace Sue Williams She wasn’t doing half as much yoga back then, hadn’t even mastered the Salute to the Sun, didn’t listen to whale song…
Neil Serven It was varnish day at the casket factory. On the sidewalk he was holding Evelyn’s hand when they caught a surprise whiff of polyurethane. They could see other faces scrinch as they approached it—acrid, though not unpleasant. Like when your father was up to something in the cellar:…
Welcome to another installment of If My Book, the Monkeybicycle feature in which authors shed light on their recently released books by comparing them to weird things. This week Kos Kostmayer writes about Fargo Burns, his new novel out from Dr. Cicero Books. If Fargo Burns were a nuclear weapon, it might wake up the…
